The ways to fool urself

Two ways by the TMAN on the art of fooling urself
drunken day @ the nipple palace..every1 outta cash due to excessive expenditure on booze..being the amazin intellectual, i had carried a packet of bakharwadi{if u dunno wat that is u shld jus die}....i needed help in cuttin the packet, so i ask a semi drunk aniruddh to help me out by holdin the tip btwn his forfinger and thumb so that i culd cut it.....
Aniruddh(wantin to sound funny) : dude dont cut ma finger.....or i wont be able to shag......
another incident occured wen i was leavin jalada for ma house..@ the taxi stand...aniruddh had jus had an assum comeback against an ayush "insult"...ridin high on this sudden achieved "popularity" he tried to fool the unsuspecting taxi driver by sayin " Uncle, aap 5 minute ruko, mein 2 minute mein aata hun..." its onli wen the cabbie laughs that he realises his stupidity and goes" fuck, reverse that!!!!"

for the REAL stupid, he wanted to say "aap 2 min ruko, mein 5 min mein aata hun"

and u dont need a dictionary with the assum teddy Alisha around...she is the most brilliant individual i have ever met and puts the oxford to shame...i mean who can come with the followin spells?
exagurate for exaggerate
desparate for desperate

lier here she ment liar

cork for the male organ
amazin arent they.... love ull maan!!

THE PADHU CHACHA INCIDENT!

wazza!!! long tym eh? ok back with a rib-tickling incident...as most of u know, aniruddh THE nippani alwez has to defend himself against anythin and everythin hurled at him that mite be remotely insultin or untrue....as is obvious we{me, aunty, katcha, pocha, kedar etc....i dint write ayush on purpose} love to piss him off...so here is another incident of 5 on 1 aniruddh insulting..

Venue: above the garage of two towers
Tym: sumtym btwn 7 and 8

Ok so all of us were real hungry and broke and as usual only pocho/pocha was loaded...so he picks up a Mirinda and a packet of Lays...it is offered around...aniruddh takes one chip and after a careful look devours it....as the rest are chatting, aniruddh suddenly breaks air

Aunty(who has sumtin against good music): Fuk!!!aniruddh jus FARTED..YUCK!!!!!
Aniruddh: Fuck u okay?
ME: Yuck dude....bloody farter!
Aniruddh: Fuck u okay?
At this juncture all seeing the oppurtunity SWOOP in....
Pocho(initially ignorin us for the chips but unable to resist the temptation):come on dude! how old are u? ek chip khakar...yuck maan.....
Aniruddh: Fuck u okay?
Ayush: rukh mein sabko batunga....
Aniruddh: fuck u okay? i dint fart...ma jeans jus rubbed against the ground...(furitively "rubbin" his jeans agaunst the floor with a look of hope)
Aunty: padhu padhu chacha(with me and pocho givin background music)
Aniruddh: fuck u okay? shut up ok? colony mein mat faila...

Ignorin his desperate plea we continue with the rantin...finally...
Aniruddh(PLEADIN!!!!) WHY me re???? fuck ull okay? i dint fart...

For the record, he said "fuck u okay?" these six tyms and total of 13 tyms in da day....if u fail to grasp the gravity of the situation, this convo lasted 5 mins..

HEY MANS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

wazzzzzaaaaa ppl!!! today is another day in jalada history.....today we shall talk about one of the MOST prominent characters, the T- man, the B- man, Nipples, the Legend, the owner of the Nipple Palace, THE aniruddh nippani......well aniruddh, in short, is one of the smartest people in the world.....he thinks he is very pretty and thinks his lips are full and luscious.. he is confused as to why any1 from his dog to esha "deol" refuses to kiss them.....he is the epitome of the symbiotic existence of intelligence and raw sexual prowess...as u may have guessed by now, g2, ankur, pocho and I develop a real inferiority complex when we come in contact with HIS HOLINESS.....here are sum incidents proving and highlightin all i have said before

Venue: Jalada
Tym: Evening
well we were jus back from another gig @ HRC that aniruddh again missed.....we were talkin bou how Skincold got a bad deal when aniruddh butts in with his amazin knowledge

Ashwin: fuk maan..that judge was such a chutia..bloody 9??? wtf?
G2(who has sumtin against good music but agreeing with me for a change): ya man....judges suck
Ankur: dude aniruddh u missed it man wat a a crazy crowd!
Aniruddh(with a srs look): dude i had to study
loooking at me
Abey i went for the bhayanak maut gig......wat crazy moshing
Ashwin: arrey dick wat moshin u can do in HRC? way too much furniture... Razz thodi hai
Aniruddh(headbangin): abey tere ko kuch nahi pata....es tara woh mundi(headbangin) aur gala hilane ko moshing kehete hai

When me ankur and g2 convince him ki wat he's calling "moshing" os actually called head bangin,
Aniruddh(sheepishly): dudes im SOOOO embarrassed!